Checkers Hyper Belongs in the 10th Circle of Hell Along With Carrefour Zhongguancuan

Some of you may recall the horrible experience that myself and others on the China trip had with the Carrefour market near the (evil) FX Hotel (also worthy of a declarative fatwa) in Beijing. Well, I have the South African equivalent right next door to my office: Checkers HYPER! Checkers is a supermarket that is in the Sandton City Mall, which is adjacent to Nelson Mandela Square. Checkers HYPER is kind of like a Wal-Mart Supercenter with food items and home goods items available for purchase. The store is messy, chaotic and lacks any comprehensive system of organization. Also typical to SA, the staff are somewhat indifferent and appear confused when you ask them for help (as if I have DARED to query them as to the location of a specific product in their store. How rude!).

I had to go in there on Tuesday because I needed to get a hot water bottle. It's just too damn cold here, so I have taken to using a hot water bottle when sitting and watching TV and then refilling and taking one to bed. Ahhh, bliss! But, first I had to acquire one. In news that may not shock you, there wasn't one section for hot water bottles, they had displays scattered about the store with various fancy ones. They had two different variations on fancy hot water bottles inside stuffed animals as well as some inside embroidered fleece covers. All I wanted was just a normal, basic rubber hot water bottle, but they didn't have it. I asked a staff member, and she said they didn't have it either, so I picked out one with a really tacky hot pink fleece cover with an embroidered fairy on it. So ugly! Of course, on the way to the checkout I found some standard, non covered bottles, but they were made of a cheap plastic similar to jelly shoes.

I waited in the line for a long time, and then the cashier closed the checkout before I got to the front so I had to go wait in ANOTHER line. This made me late for the gym, so I ended up not having time to go. I blame you, Checkers HYPER, for my lack of stomach definition!