China Continues to Plague Me - Doesn't it Know We're on a Break??

The fact that the Johannesburg offices of the Bank of China are just one floor up from me is cause for endless amusement. Several times a week I am reminded of all the wonderful cultural differences between mainland Chinese and myself. So far there's been the guy who smokes in the stairwell and pretended not to hear me berating him in Chinese and pointing out the clearly marked "No Smoking" sign, the rude guy in the elevator who refused to make space for me (I pushed his shoulder a little) and the staring woman also in the elevator (I guess she must have been playing a variant of Beijing Subway). Today at Woolie's however, I encountered a particularly insidious Bank of China employee: the close stander.

I was waiting in the long line at Woolie's when I felt something brushing up against my back. I turned around to see a short Chinese woman holding a package of pre-cut butternut squash, which was what had been touching my back. I gave her a dirty look and scooted up in the line. Damn if that bitch didn't scoot up too, again touching me! Creepy! I turned sideways and pressed against the package with my arm and she didn't even move it! How odd! This continued as I moved up in line, but I started to be amused because I wanted to see how far I could "push" (literally) things. It got to the point where I actually pressed hard enough on the package that it caused her to take a step back, which I thought was quite a win. I would wait for her to move up on me, then start exercising a very slow push outward with my elbow. What a dolt.

Woolworth's Pressed Clemengold Juice Tastes Like the Sweat Dripping off Satan's Choad

In South Africa we have a Marks & Spencer's rip-off called Woolworth's. This Woolworth's is not to be confused with the nickel and dime store in the US, as it aspires to provide both trendy department store offerings as well as quality food products with an emphasis on a lot of private label Trader Joe's type stuff featuring organic and locally sourced ingredients. Since there is a Woolie's in Nelson Mandela Square, where I work, I often end up going over there during my lunch break to pick up various ingredients my dad requests. This past Tuesday I was tasked with getting some organic orange juice. The Super Spar next door to our housing development usually offers freshly squeezed OJ that is quite good, but they only had tiny bottles this weekend and we ran out. So, off I went to Woolie's during lunch.

I arrived only to find that they were completely out of organic OJ. Jess, I think our new drop out of business school idea is supply chain consulting in South Africa. Almost every super market here has the crappiest supply chain management ever--if something is in stock, stock up because it likely won't be there next week. Instead of getting the standard Woolie's OJ, which is from concentrate and thus grosstastic, I decided to get the Pressed Clemengold Juice, which I assumed was pressed juice from clementines. It was clearly fresh, pulpy (we like it with mit fruitfleisch) and was a beautiful deep orange color.

My dad gives me some for breakfast this morning and I'm sad to report it was LIES! All lies! This stuff tastes like ground up vegetables. It's TERRIBLE. There's no hint of citrus or anything remotely orange-y at all. It tastes like carrot juice made from old dehydrated carrots with some dusty potatoes and a bit of rotten beet thrown in. It's foul and I hate it. I'm never getting this crap again, in fact, I want my whole ZAR21 back (about $3)! Rip off, I say!

Guess this means I'll have to brave the dreaded Checker's Hyper to get their freshly squeezed OJ. Ugh. Checker's Hyper deserves its own entry.