FML!

On September 7th, the planet Mercury entered its retrograde cycle, which About.Astrology.com tells me means:

"The purpose of Mercury retrograde is to review and revise our life and our connection with reality. The timing of this universe is geared toward the Sun as it moves through the zodiac. Mercury has an orbit that at times gets ahead of the Sun allowing us to look into the future toward new and innovative ideas. However, we cannot continue in that vein until we come back to the present designated by the Sun and put our new ideas into manifestation. During the time that Mercury jumps ahead, we ultimately have to bring the ideas back into the present to test and evaluate to see how they fit into our life. As Mercury retrogrades back into the present, the connection with the Sun happens as we test drive our ideas and re-align with reality and the natural timing of the universe."

It sounds all nice and wonderful, mainly that I'll have time to reexamine my life and make positive changes. Great! Yeah, not so much. In practice it means crappy stuff that pisses you off happens all the time. Latest shining example? Getting from Point A to B without becoming a sweaty mess is now impossible.

Last night Phil Beickler hosted a potluck at his apartment. I drove up there. My car had been doing this kind of odd little cough before starting, but it always started up immediately so I was concerned but not worried. Well, the battery died while I was up at Beicklers, so first we tried to jump it from pushing (which was hilarious), then some random Nigerian in the parking lot tried to jump it for us, which also failed, then I at last found someone with jumper cables who was able to get the car started. I drove it back and left it charging in my parking lot for an hour. I sat in the car and pirated wireless from my neighbors.

This morning I decided not to mess around with the car, so I decided to take my bike, which has been sitting on my porch all summer. It was hideously dusty, so I wiped it down with paper towels. It is so dry right now outside that the damp paper towels I was using dried out before I finished! Thanks a lot, desert! I also had to pump up the tires, which were flat. Fine, did that. Then, when I was taking my bike down the stairs I caught the back of my heel on the pedals, which ripped a large part of skin about the size of a dime off the back of my heel. OUCH. It stings like a mofo and I bled like a stuck pig all the way to CCC class.

I come out of class to discover that my back bike tire is COMPLETELY flat. I rode the rim all the way back to the apartment with a bloody heel. I got back to discover Caroline eating lunch on the couch, who proceeded to make a HUGE deal out of my bleeding and tried to make me feel better by trying to console me, baby the injury and generally be really, really nice. Now, if anyone who is anyone knows me, they should know that I detest making a big deal out of injuries, in fact I would rather just deal with it myself. Furthermore, if I am in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mood it is best to just leave me alone to deal with it rather than attempt to be overly accommodating, which I immediately pick up on, which just makes me angrier. A lot of slamming of objects seemed to calm down the babying, for which I was thankful.

I used rubbing alcohol to wipe off the blood and sprayed the area liberally with Bactine spray. I now have a nice, pink Hello Kitty bandaid on there and it feels much better.

I return to my original topic, which was up yours, Mercury Retrograde! You think you can cow me? I don't think so! For all you people taking notes, retrograde ends on Sept. 29th, so its days are numbered!

Mysteriously Ground Poultry

My friend Judy gave me this fabulous turkey chili recipe that I regularly make with great success. The recipe is so good that I have passed it on to others who have found it similarly yummy (perhaps the greatest success was my friend Jeff then enabling our friend Carey as well). The base meat is ground turkey, which I usually find at Trader Joe's in the meat section. The other day Caroline and I went to TJ's to restock for the start of the school year, and I decided to grab 1 lb of ground turkey so I could make a nice batch of chili and then leave it in the fridge for easy dinners for the rest of the week.

Fast forward to last night, when I actually made the chili. The first step is to saute up the onions and garlic, then add the meat and cook all the way through. Ground beef, turkey, lamb and ostrich all cook down nicely to those perfect little tiny meat globules that one wants in a sloppy joe, bobotie, shepherd's pie and chili consistency. The joy of dishes such as these is that all the flavors are pleasantly balanced and present in your mouth whilst eating. As I am cooking the meat, I discover that it is not separating nicely but rather is cooking into solid chunks of white meat. Cooked ground turkey is a darker color, so I rather quickly suss out that I am in fact making a ground CHICKEN chili instead. Dammit! The end result was ok, but the flavor was not as complex and the stupid chunks of ground chicken add a slightly off texture to the chili.

I don't understand why Trader Joe's stocks the ground chicken next to the ground turkey, as the uncooked meat is the same color but the end result is very different. Additionally, who the hell uses ground chicken in the first place? The only possible use I could come up with is chicken burgers, which can be purchased pre-made from Trader Joe's in a delicious chili lime flavor that are far superior to any hand shaped varieties. So thanks a lot, Trader Joe's, for ruining Judy's chili recipe. I'll think twice before acquiring any ground poultry from you.