Wacky Wednesday

My work schedule is ridiculous regimented and annoying. I get up at 5:40am and leave the house by 6:10am. My dad and I drive from Fourways, which is a suburb in northwest Johannesburg, and drive to his office in Woodmead, which is a suburb in northeast Johannesburg. I then drop him off and continue on to my office in Sandton, which is south of Woodmead. I work from 7-4, then go back to Woodmead and go to the gym. At 6pm, my father and I depart his office and drive back to Fourways, where we eat dinner, clean up, watch an episode of House and then my dad goes to be at 9:30. I usually force myself to go to bed around 10:30 or 11pm, as I can't fall asleep any earlier. Thus, today's first fatwa is on regimented schedules.

As South Africa is a developing country, there is still a large population of urban poor who cannot afford to own their own car and must rely on a form of group transport, the minibus. Minibus drivers always drive beat up Toyota Siyaya vans which seat fifteen plus one passenger up front. There is a complicated system of hand signals which passengers use to flag down buses and indicate their destination; most hand signals are highly colloquial. Fares are on the basis of whether or not your Zulu is colloquial enough to make the driver think you know what you're doing. The minibus taxis would be a great resource with the exception of their extreme danger. Most white South Africans tell me that you'll get robbed or knifed on the minibus, which is unlikely. You will, however, be putting your life at risk to get into a horrible auto accident. Most minibuses are rented, so drivers have little incentive to keep up maintenance or even care about a dent or minor fender bender. Minibuses are notorious for taking as many road shortcuts as possible (i.e. driving on the right if traffic one way is slow, going the short way around the rotary [which happened this morning]) as well as stopping and starting randomly in traffic to pick up passengers. They also take turns indiscriminately from any lane and are in general a menace to society. So, today, I declare fatwa on dangerous minibus taxi drivers, especially given that I almost got hit by two on the way to work, one going the wrong way in the rotary by my house and the other who cut me off during a right-hand turn.